What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 25.06.2025 00:50
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Make Nazis afraid again!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
What are some mind-blowing facts that sound unreal but are actually true?
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Why do Trump supporters like Andrew and Tristan Tate?
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!